All I could do is to blame

All I could do, was to blame her, for I was not falling for someone. Or maybe, all I could do is to blame her for, me, not being loved by anyone.
This is really painful...which my friends make fun of. Even I also embrace the fun but at the back of the mind it feels like this is true that there is something wrong with me. Even after all the honest efforts, even after trying to not make a mistake like the previous, I end up losing the person because all she does is disrespects me which I cannot handle. I used to beg to my previous to talk to me, but she left. Thereafter I said to myself that I won't beg anyone to stay into my life. And this is it. People come and go. Sad part is, I don't want a few to go...but it seems like I lost again.