Be My Temporary Always

I always wonder how surprising things happen. I always question why fate has to let two strangers meet without knowing the reason behind. Is it destiny that calls the forces of the universe to sweep off my feet towards the path you are going? Or is it your fate to meet someone like me that for the longest time of hurting and searching, I am that someone you've been patiently waiting. I am still unsure what it is.

So I met you and still curious about why our paths have crossed in a moment when things are yet complicated. When all the 'should haves' remain to be kept as a magical secret concealed from the innocent eyes of people we might hurt. When we both have to steal ample time from our priorities and fill our hearts with all the joy having all those stolen moments.

Yet we both know that you and I can never be. A lot of things that we dream of doing should remain as a hopeless dream. That if I pursue you in a way that I want to, someone's feelings might be put at stake. And I'm terrified that someday, either one of us will get hurt, but I don't want it to be you. I rather embrace the pain you might feel soon as things become dense than seeing you suffocated with being hurt again.

But I'd be willing to risk anything with all my fingers crossed just to know what lies beyond the horizon you are standing. I'd be willing to discover the unknown behind the walls we are hiding not to let the world know about the kind of love we've been sharing. I'd be willing to take all the chances and swear to cover the truth of us with the sweetest lies no one would ever have to doubt. For you, I'd be willing to do all of that.

Would it be possible to ask you things I know you will have a hard time of giving? Would it be better if I was her and you were him? How I wish I have met you long before you met her. How I wish I was the one you first laid eyes on while walking past all the people you have seen. Would I still have you if I ask you all of these?

And whenever we speak over the phone and spend the rest of the night talking about us and the future, it seems like your voice has already registered to the sensory of my brain. That whenever I hear a familiar voice in a busy room full of people, I always pay much attention.

Being with you gives me the feeling of having someone to look after you, someone who motivates and brings out the best in you. Someone who encourages you to be happy as ever be and reminds you that chasing a man is never worth it, that you deserve more of being chased by a man like him. That love can never be asked nor begged.

So when time comes that you need to choose between me and her, please do not choose me. I want you to choose the one you think is deserving with the kind of love you can give and is greater than anyone else. I want you to learn from me that there is always beauty in secretly loving someone without confusing yourself to whomever you decide to end up with.

And if that happens, I will always be here. I will be that someone who will love you still whenever you feel you are taken for granted. I will be your refuge whenever she hurts or leaves you hanging again. I will fill in the gaps she missed to fill while you were with her. I will pretend to be her and endure the pain and see them only as the art of comforting someone.

But there is one rule I need to follow for it means keeping you stay. A rule i'm afraid of breaking soon as I destroy the walls that protect me from doing it. Because if I do, I will be so much hurt, but please remember that I can ease all the pain and promise not to fall in love with you no matter what will happen.

Yet I am grateful of the surprises the world has given me for I believe that one of the bravest things to do, is to do the thing that scares you, because sometimes, surprises come in beautiful disguise. And I want to content myself with that blessing in disguise having you the reason behind.

So in this universe where everything is just passing, where there is always an open door prepared for people who wish to leave without telling. Whether the truth will hurt one of us, whether what we have is a mistake or not, I want you to keep me and love me while I am still here. Because no matter how impermanent things are in this world, I want you to be there whatever it takes. I want you to be my temporary always, in this world full of temporary things.