Being an introvert

I am an introvert. I can't make eye contact while talking. My handshakes aren't firm. I can't stand 'casually' and look 'cool'  while speaking to a person for the first time. I can't make small talk. I stammer. I am nervous. Crowds terrify me.

Being an introvert isn't easy. In movies, (atleast Bollywood) they show the idea of a beautiful and care-free heroine as someone who is loud, outgoing, fun at all times and isn't scared of dancing and singing in public. Someone who laughs aloud with her mouth wide open with confidence. Someone who is an extrovert.

Why? Is that the idea of a perfect girl that they want to show the society? Or do they want to show girls that only if you're an extrovert, you'll find true love? 

Being an introvert isn't easy. You want to dance, you want to be care free like the rest. You want to go to parties and be able to fearlessly be up for anything adventurous! But you just can't. And because of what other people say, what does that make you think? That you're not trying hard enough to be out there.
How much ever you tell them that it's just not you, they will never understand. They might even look upon you as someone who is purposely building a wall over herself because of her attitude towards life.

Eventually, you might start thinking they're right.

Being an introvert isn't easy. When you meet people whom you love after a long time, all you want to do is run to them with open arms and leap into a hug and show them how much you've missed them and how much you love them, but you can't. Instead, you hug them awkwardly and smile and say something like you miss them and even though it's not fake, because your facial muscles don't seem to corporate with you, that's how it ends up sounding.

They might never be able to understand just how much you love them. You find it difficult to express your feelings, good or bad.

Being an introvert isn't easy. You get used to hearing things behind your back or sometimes to your face. Things like, "she's not fun to hang out with." "Why is she always so serious?" "No offense, but when I first met you, I really thought you were an attitude freak." "She's so uptight."

For sometime, they might fool you into thinking they're right.

Being an introvert isn't easy. It requires more effort. It requires conscious effort to not close yourself behind a door. It requires guts to be able to leave your comfort zone and socialize.  It requires courage to speak up. It requires more effort into things that extroverts might find very easy.

But, being an introvert also means that you think about the most creative and amazing things, only you do it silently. It also means that you're a great listener, because you know what it feels like to be shut off. You are a deep thinker and you care so much about the people whom you love because generally, you have a small circle and each one of them has a big place in your heart. You would do anything for your loved ones.
While some people might need constant company to feel entertained, all you need is a good book or your art and you're good to go.
You're silent, but that doesn't mean you can't give a piece of your mind to those you deserve it.  You're shy, but that doesn't mean you fear from standing up for yourself. You're soft, but when you have a good opinion, you always voice it out.

Being an introvert isn't easy, but it's one of the best things that has happened to me.