Change

We must always be open to changes.Change is okay if it is for a healthy reason and if it is for our own selves and not for someone else.There is a hell and heaven difference between changing for our own happiness and changing for someone else who does not even care about us.

I realise I have been a jerky teen.

Whenever I went out to meet him,I spent a lot of time thinking about what I should be wearing to look beautiful,when on other days I grab anything comfortable without giving it a thought.When we went out on dinner,I never ordered something which I liked but he didn't,to show that we had a similar taste in food .As a carefree teen I never really thought it was necessary to eat with spoon and fork when we are gifted with hands,but when with him,I made it a point to maintain table manners even if it meant sacrificing my favourite dish.I changed my "old school" friends and pretended to be very happy with his friends just to make him realise that I was of his type and that we were meant for each other.He told me he liked big nails on girls.I started to grow nails which I could not have imagined in my worst nightmare.He was once talking about a girl he hated and he used the word "black" to describe her skin tone.I felt depressed as I am not fair skinned either.He often checked out girls with short dresses and good makeup.I shifted from flower pyjamas to short length dresses and girly stuff.He once commented on how vanilla my taste is,in music.I forced myself to like rock music just to be in sync with him and converse with him about famous rock artists like his friends did.He told me how drab and gross it is to read love stories by famous writers when that is the only thing around which my world revolves.

I have changed myself.Earlier,I was a nerd with rounded specs,messed up curly hair,loose oversized t-shirts,bitten nails,snikers and too chilled out to care about anything except for my story books.Today,I am someone else.Straightened hair,contact lenses,heavy makeup,fancy dresses,long nails,stilettos,rock music and all I care about is him.I have faked my entire existence.