Coming Out: Not From A Rainbow But From The Shadows

Where we are now and how we are now, is a fruit of our past. We have always thought today that we're healed, that we're 'fully' healed. It turns out---I'm wrong. You're wrong.

Each of us have dealt with a lot of traumas from our past, each having different ranges and different degrees. I have dealt with a lot of traumas since childhood up to now. I always wondered why I repeat the same mistakes and am I really the person I want to be at the moment.

We all have traumas that are so painful, we choose to forget them and bury them. Oftentimes, we are the version of ourselves now whom we wished was there for our past versions. I was wandering around in this life, thinking that everything from my past was already settled. I already forgave them and myself.

But I think it is valid that we also have triggers and when tapped, those repressed emotions from such trauma resurfaces. It's so painful that we feel like our hearts are crushed. 

Now, I decided to come out. To face my hidden traumas and resolve them properly. I've decided to reunite with them, to help my younger self and to make my current self free from such ties. Most often, we hide from them because our younger selves couldn't handle them and the best that we could do was bury it.

Now, it is the time for our older version to conquer them for our younger self who was fragile yet brave. It is time that I should face them with the wisdom and knowledge I have now so my younger self will not haunt my future self.

I decided to resolve my traumas, of holding myself accountable on all my emotions and not enter into relationships yet so as not to project them.

Now, I decided to be brave---to confront all the buried traumatic emotions and memories. Writing this is more like a diary but I hope, if this reaches you, it will inspire you---that coming out from your shadows is valid; that doing such will reconcile you, your younger self, and your future self.

The best gift that you can give to yourself is the reconciliation of all your versions. At the end of the day, only you can do you. Stay strong sweetheart! You got this!