Escaping the worst

I open my eyes. I'm still awake. I didn't want this to happen. I see beside me the shattered photo frames and random things. I feel the urge to vomit. I run into the bathroom but throw up on my way in the middle of the corridor. Kate, with whom I share my apartment doesn't like this. she knows I've been drinking last night and is really angry with me. She approaches me with cold eyes and a blank expression and stares at me for 10 long seconds. She doesn't speak a word neither do I. But then she slaps me right across my face. 'I can't bear any more of your drama Ashley. You didn't pay the rent for the last 2 months and you can't keep on destroying things and dirtying the house, you just can't,' she is shouting ' I just want you to pack your bags and leave this house within a week. Not a day more than that.' She stomped back into her room where her boyfriend was waiting for her and she slammed the door shut. Tears forced it's way out of my eyes. I pulled out my cell phone...Robert left me broken for a cheerleader. His last message said: Bitch, you disturb me and Lisa once again, I swear it's not gonna turn out good, you filthy pig. More tears. Then was mom. I was hopeless after I read the message. I had lent 500 dollars from her this month and 200 the previous one and she was refusing to lend me more. Now i was hopeless, homeless and alone. I went to the ATM grabbed all the money I was left with and went to the pub. A relief hit me when the first glass of wine ran down my throat. After spending all my money on drinks, I left the pub. I ran to the terrace of my favorite building. I cried there until there was no tears left. Everything seemed like a dot from the 20-floor building. I had made my decision. I stood on the edge of the terrace, my inner voices fighting among themselves. A part of me wanted to jump desperately but a little of me was still confused. I didn't want to live I was sure of that but did I really wanted to die? A voice inside me shouted 'Jump Ashley if you wanna get out of this hellhole you are living in.' I looked back then towards the sky and then closed my eyes. I let myself get loose and slip. I was in the air. I felt like flying. I smiled to myself after months and years. One of the best seconds of my life. Then everything went black..........