Friends

People told me we were a mess, a disaster, 'cause we were together but we weren't, see a mess.

You lead me on without teaching me the path to you, you made me fall in love without the intention of catching me, you left me without anything, no trace, no clue of where you've gone.

You were the type of boy no one can easily fall for, they need to know you first, the real you, the you that I knew because I was your so called  " best friend. " and that label until this day breaks my heart.

Many people thought we were a thing, but we weren't, that time there were no emotions involved, just the sheer fact that we were there for one another.

Then things started to change you suddenly became jealous of the boys I hang out with and I get jealous with the girls you talk to, we shouldn't get jealous we were just best friends, right?

Stupid me fell in love with you, I didn't know why or how or when, I just fell and I fell hard.

You suddenly became my sunshine, you suddenly became my air, you suddenly became my home, you suddenly became my love.

I knew it was wrong to have feelings so I stayed quiet, I didn't say a word but I knew this would kill me from the inside out and I felt guilty not telling you but I told you nothing because you had someone special, someone you wanted to be yours in this life of yours.

One day we were talking and you suddenly asked who I had a crush on, I was denying, I was dodging the question and was asking you instead even though I knew who you loved, but you were persistent and unknowingly I said it "You, you're the one I love." You told me okay, that somewhat you knew.

Days passed and suddenly you sort of became sweet and stupid me fell harder, I know I shouldn't had fallen harder knowing the fact you have someone whom you already love.

Then people told me we were a mess, a disaster, 'cause we were together but we weren't, see a mess. Because out of nowhere you suddenly stopped messaging me, talking to me, you just suddenly became cold as a winter morning.

You tore me apart not leaving anything as it was before, my heart was shattered, you were a part of me, a part of my life for 3 years and suddenly without a single warning you're gone.

You suddenly became the darkness within me, you suddenly sucked all the air out of me, you suddenly became a home I used to live in, you suddenly became my love that I hate.

But I stayed despite you suddenly becoming cold, I fucking stayed despite you breaking me and hurting me, I didn't falter, I didn't leave you because I loved you, because you meant so much to me, because I made you something you weren't.

But at some point I had enough of you, I had enough of this stupid game that only I was playing, I had enough of not feeling loved, I had enough of every stupid thing I've done for you.

I cried a river for you, you tore my heart into two, you broke me, you made me grieve, you made me ugly, you made me everything I didn't want to become.

So this is a farewell, a goodbye, a parting that I'm okay with now. I loved you and I'm just hoping you loved me too but goodbye, I hope you're happy.