Home

It's true that you have to leave home, for college, for job, for marriage and so many things that are the part of life, but it's also true that living at two different places tears you apart from the inside.

You can never belong to one place ever again.

A piece of you will be at one place and another piece somewhere else. You'll never be able to exist fully for the rest of your life.

It will be like a particular part of your thoughts is always left behind with the locked door of your dorm room, your apartment while you visits home and then again, a part will always linger in the familiar bed sheets and known streets of your home town as you leave yet again.

I swear, you'll feel your inside tearing apart a shread at a time, like every second of this in-between is taking a piece of you for it's existence.

You'll wish that you can stay at one place and belong there fully but you'll remember the other place and the people you love there and how you can't let that go either.

You are not real anymore. No matter how real you try to be, there is always a thrill that comes with being someone else and you can't resist it. Just the knowledge that you can rewrite your life gives you so much power that you can't help but use it. People from your old life will not know the person you've become and the new ones won't know what you were. You are two different person now. You are existing in parallel universe, balancing both of them such that they don't collide with each other.

Your thoughts will never be at one place and no matter how strong you are, you can't help but break down about the fact that things can't ever go back to the way they were before. It will not let you sleep at nights, just thinking about how things were and what you could never have again.

You can not fool yourself that it's just some temporary arrangement and you'll be again at the place you once fully belonged to, because it's not. It's true that once you left home you're like a bird that can roam the entire sky but can never call it home. She'll always return to her nest, knowing well that there will be a day when it won't be there anymore.

It makes you desperate, just imagining your life with constant to and fro from one home to another, never knowing where you exactly belong, who you really are anymore. Your skin will crawl and your lungs will lock themselves in a cage that only allows enough oxygen to sustain. No open field will be open enough to rid you off this suffocation and you'll continuously be searching for a way to break free.

You'll close your eyes, not knowing what you'll see behind them, surprising yourself when you picture a replica of both the homes combined in a city that only exists in your dreams.

I think having many homes can make you homeless too.