Hope, there is!

Filtering in through the drawn curtains,a yellow light fills the otherwise dark room.I wake up, and his smile greets me.'Morning', he says, while kissing me on the forehead.'Morning' I reply.His smile, as gorgeous as it has been the first time we met.Smile that brings a twinkle in his brown eyes.I am going to miss him,miss his smile a lot.
I walk up to the balcony and look at the morning sky.Hovering above are grey clouds, ready to burst at any moment.But I have to believe they won't, not at least today.The cheerful blue of the sky is missing just like the happiness from my life.But you could still see the sun, not giving up, peeking from behind a giant of a cloud.Hope.Thats what it is.Thats what he is.His smile is.
Hope, he would never forego.I suppose at times that it's the only thing keeping him alive till now. His cancer killing him every minute, while he still being cheerful of a bright sunny day when we could walk down the aisle together.Tears pool in my eyes as I think of the day when I would wake up alone in our bed, and no smile of his greeting me in the morning.5 years we have been living together, 5 months since his cancer metastasized and from then, it's on a high tide.Killing him.Every minute.Of every day.

Chemo has left him bedridden, his black hair which I loved to ruffle, now thinning.His face losing it's youthful vigour.But his smile remains same.The same captivating smile, innocence filling his face, the kind of smile that stretched to your eyes and made them twinkle.And in those moments, I see glimpses of my once healthy man.

I go back to bed, and sit beside him.He's asleep again.Chemo does that to him.Makes him sleep for hours on end.I move my hand through his hair, flashbacks of an once possible happily ever after comes.I remember the first night we spent together.In the morning, I woke up and he had been still asleep.I had moved my hand through his hair then.And he had woken up, kissed me fervently and we had made love again.And now, he wouldn't.Sometimes I worry that he would never wake up.That I won't be able to talk to him.Tell him that I love him.Always will.

There's the sun, out and shining bright.There's still hope.Atleast for today.