I cursed myself

It was when she had this one love that was so strong she could not just abandon it and move on.

Even when it was one-sided, she still worshipped it. Never turned her back on it, no matter how many times it let her down, seriously down. She let it stab her heart till she bled her soul out. And with those scars, she still came calling its name, sincerely whispering: "You're my only one". 

It spat in her face: "You're nothing to me".

What did she do then? Desperately holding it against her chest. How can she let go of something that beautiful? It was her life. And she was its silent slave. 

Sometimes, it did smile back at her, fondling her heart. She was so blindly happy she almost cried. Only to receive a sharp slap later. "Come on, he never loves you". But she kept holding on to it. He wore the matching necklace she gave him on his birthday. The best day of her life. He introduced his new girlfriend at the class party. She suffocated. It grinned: "Told you"

Love kills. This love killed every bit of her. And only after much damage did she realize it was just her torturing herself with all these illusions. All the time. How stupid ...

... 

It took some weeks before she woke up into a morning, out of all the nightmares about it. Totally conscious. Clear mind, bright heart. And she simply knew exactly who to see.

He was right there, waiting for her all along. It is how we live our lives, chasing some far-fetched fantasies while neglecting the dear treasures in our hands. So the moment their eyes met, she cursed herself.