"i like you because you're you."

when you told me i speak in some ways you don't seem to understand, i immediately knew what you meant,

i see it too, and so i thought you're not the only one that's lost.

yes, it's as scary as it sounds;
not knowing if you truly knew nothing about yourself, or if it's just because you weren't trying to find out.

you see, the moment you told me it's because of what you see i am, i already had my right foot out the door. it was scary, and it was in fact, at that moment, was the scariest thing i've ever heard.

i couldn't ask. i've expected the worst yet i'm still too afraid to read your lips, let alone hear the answer coming out of your mouth, knowing i might not know how to deal with the truth later.

whoever that person you see whenever you look at me is, i just know it isn't me. not because i think i remind you of someone else, but because that person is what i only allow you to see, not necessarily the entirety of me.

and i'll tell you why.

i can write you pages about why i think you're beautiful but i'll get lost in my own train of thoughts when i'm asked why i think i'm worth it.

i don't think i am, yet i would tell you how empowering it is to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin;

you would then admire me of my inner strength, you'd point out how you find my positive approach in dealing with insecurities inspiring,

and from that point onwards, i would feel the need to cover up my flaws and to never show any sign of vulnerability,

because i'm afraid to prove you wrong. i've lost countless of people and opportunities just by simply not being good enough, and though i had no idea how to prevent the history from repeating itself, i can't help but bet on my best luck that i don't mess things up with you.

when you told me it's because of what you see i am, what did you see?

is it me? or is it someone i present myself to be?