I'll Still Hold On.

I'm sitting here alone in this dark room holding your hand. 

I'm not sure how it got to this. I don't know why you won't respond. 

I've been talking at you and not to you because it looks like you're not listening.

And I'm trying to explain to you how things will be fine. 

But you're just stubborn so you won't budge. 

Look Cara, I get that you're angry at me. 

But I was just trying to look out for you. 

I cared for you and I loved you since we became friends in grade 4. 

You know us! 

Same tuition classes, same dance classes and same swimming lessons!

So I feel responsible for you and your actions. 

It wasn't okay for him to cheat on you. It wasn't. 

But maybe I shouldn't have told you either.

Is that what you wanted me to do?

Watch my friend burn in love for a man who's fire himself? 

How could you expect that of me? 

So it's your fault.

But I'm responsible for your actions. 

So when I told you about him, maybe I should have been calmer. 

Maybe I shouldn't have shown you their pictures to prove a point. 

Maybe I could've been more compassionate and less preachy. 

And now that I've thought this and believed this, I can feel it. 

I can sense my faults. I'm responsible. 

I didn't look out for you. I wasn't there. 

And I'm sitting here in this dark room alone holding your hand. 

Because I left it at the wrong time. 

I'd left it when I didn't see you cry at my accusations towards him.

I'd left it when I screamed at you instead of comforting you.

I'd left it when you ran away from me too broken at heart. 

I'd left it when you cried on the side of the road with no one to go to.

I'd left it when you made the decision to go back to your only safe haven. 

I'd left it when you didn't remember to stop.

And I'd left it when you crossed the line and overdosed...

But I'm still holding on, Cara...

I want you to cry and I'll be here now.

But you're stubborn and you won't budge. 

I've been talking at you and not to you because it looks like you're not listening.

Your hands are limp and your face is grey. 

But I'm praying that you'll start to laugh any moment now. 

And so, I'll still hold on...