Living A Life With Depression

Dark, unruly and void,
My eyes adjusted to the darkness,
Which was with me since I was seven.

I was fine before.
I could still see the colors,
The never ending rainbows.

I didn't know what happened,
It's like something had clicked,
It is as if it was switched on.

Whenever I sleep,
I could see the abyss in front of me.
And it scared me.

I got over it after few weeks,
But this time, it was replaced,
By the feeling of seeing grey.

I asked myself,
What is wrong with me?
Why is it I feel like I'm empty?

My world began to sink,
I was drowning,
While everyone looked at me with confused faces.

Sometimes, I can't breathe,
I've drank many water to remove that something,
That lump in my throat I can't comprehend.

My eyes are spinning,
My mind is getting a bit darker each second.
I can feel every touch of it.

Sometimes I'm sweating,
I don't know the reason why,
But something keeps on repeating in my mind.

One time I went out,
I vomited, but there was nothing,
I stared at the grass, dumbfounded.

I never went to school,
Why is it I can see them so fine,
When I can't even tell myself I am?

Questions popped in my mind,
Frequently were the whys and whats,
But why was it always me?

I can't even close my eyes,
I don't know what to do anymore,
I'm tired from all of these.

Help me, I screamed,
I looked around to find someone who can,
But they had all looked away from me.

Get away from me,
Why are you even here?
Why did you picked me?

I can taste my salty tears,
But my voice was gone.
I cannot speak anymore.

In the end,
It never left me,
I lived my life with depression.