A MEMOIR

                          It is said that every soul that finds its way down here and calls earth its home, has a purpose in life. Whether we fulfill it or not, is often left a mystery because, as per the wisdom of the great people who proposed this, the man himself does not know his true potential, or the so called ‘duty’ until and unless the time ripens and as a result, we, the poor creatures are often left out in the open, to find our own way of life while fate plays its own part in making us fulfill our role.

Now that I think of it, it feels rather comical to me. There is a bulk of those quotes, which you can easily find around you – about life, about fate, and about anything you want or you do not. All you have to do is just Google it. However, the fact is, even though I myself was fanciful of these at first, gradually I learned that it is true - these optimistic quotes could create a spark in you. Nevertheless, as long as this newborn spark was left unattended, higher were the chances of its early death. I also figured out that the only real person who can inspire me and make me do things is no one else but me.   

I think it is better if I just introduce myself to you.

I am Gauri, 18 years old, not very bright but good to go, interested in music, dance, arts and history, fascinated by science but never good in it, has very few friends, family consists of father, mother and a younger brother, not good in sports- save badminton, not much sociable, like to eat much and sleep late in to the morning, love to read, sing and sew – this is almost everything about me in a nutshell. A regular gal, right??

                As I indicated in the title, this piece of writing is not about any adventure or romance, nor is it fiction. This is in fact a memoir- memoir to certain things that were special to me.

Every person living on the face of the earth literally feeds their souls with their dreams. If a person is devoid of them, I do not think he would have a reason to live. It is this basic reason, we call dream, we chase them throughout our lives, and it is during these endeavors, that we cross our path with some strangers and they sometimes become our friends, our soul mate, or even rivals.

However, achieving a dream is no single step process. We tend to break it up in to pieces and complete them one by one. That is how we do it. That is why we hope to clear our class 10, then clear our class 12, hope to clear all those entrance exams, hope for a higher education, hope for a job, hope for…., hope for….. – till our last breath we keep on hoping for one thing or another. HOPE can never end – it can only begin.

From one perspective, it is good – to have hope. But to hope very badly and the opportunity slips out, just like that… ouch...Now THAT hurts...

I think it is time to let you have a quick peep into my life.

As you would have guessed by now, I am a regular girl with regular tastes on life and wish to lead a contended life. But quite naturally, I possess a problem – daydreaming. Now, don’t jump in to any conclusions, for my daydreaming has nothing to do with princesses or fairies. I dream of my life, a life in another city like Paris, London, or Switzerland, where I would enjoy doing my job and exploring the countryside. I love to travel the world, see new places, their cuisine, and meet new people... what fun it would be!

I usually imagine my life there – in a foreign country with no one I know, all alone, yet enjoying life to the fullest!

           However, as I said, an opportunity once slipped is always a lesson for a lifetime – a painful reminder. I could not clear the exams very well – both the qualifying and the finals. That left me almost in the blues. I saw no meaning in whatsoever I did, but still tried to hang on, hang on to my dreams, until..

It is fun to hear in the movies and all when they say – “you mustn’t give up, you must try till your very end and it will come to you” or that “life surprises us with a hurdle on the track, when we think we have cleared everything” etc. but you won’t grasp its full meaning unless you go through it.

Even after these ordeals, I had hoped for a ray of happiness, even though a little one. Instead, I got something much more unexpected and something that shattered my poor dreams into tiny pieces…

It was a fine evening. The air was fresh and a gentle breeze hung in the atmosphere. This beautiful dusk could not have gotten any better…

It had got very close to me when I heard the horn. I still remember the horror upon the driver’s face, quite visible through the strong light emitted from the head lamps, heard some loud cries and felt as if a mountain had been thrown over my legs and then I blacked out.

I woke up, a few days later, facing a mango tree laden with ripe mangoes and birds chirping happily, as they helped themselves to it. It was on this hospital bed that I had spent some months before coming home.

Now I realize, even though with pain, that the dreams I had generated, that is, the winged ones had flown away. This leaves me, hopefully, space – blank space in my mind, to be filled with new ones that are colorful, vibrant and full of energy.

As my brother pushes me around the house and my mother assists me even with my basic needs, I still have a ray of hope that even though my legs had give way to wheels and I no longer can explore the world as I imagined, I still got my hands and my mind – great tools for an artist. For I have learned that as long as I have hope, I can have my dreams and I could chase them on wheels – much faster than legs, which would eventually help me in completing my role on this earth for which the creator had created me. I do believe it now – every single life has its own purpose and knowingly or otherwise, we do fulfill it. That is the circle of life.