Missing Soul

Maybe it was for the better, that I can't vividly remember when and why it started but I can still remember those days that I still haven't thinking about it, when I still have the courage to smile, a genuine smile. I still remember the days that I still talk to God, those days that I always talk to him, thank him and wish for toys and everything. 

How I wish I was still in those days, how I wish I never grew up. So that I don't think too much, cry too much, and feel this pain that pushed me to that. I thought growing up would be much better, because I can do this, do that, do those things that only grown up people can do. But in fact, growing up means problems are also growing up, and sometimes even taller than you. So many things changed when I was growing up. From physical, to emotional and also in perceptions. I became someone I, myself didn't know. I became one of those people finding their souls. I'm one of the missing souls.