Mornings and Bright Things

I hate mornings and bright things

They remind me of you

Or rather the lack of you

Painful jabs of she's not here anymore

And the bitter taste of it's time to let go

I hate cold nights and warm hugs

They remind me of your touch

Or rather the lack of it

Knowing I can never graze your skin again

Or feel your heartbeat as the space close in

I hate sappy poetry and love songs

They remind me of your proud smile

And that dorky cute little shy laugh

Whenever I write you one

It hurts so much now that you're gone

I started hating everything and everyone

They remind me of all the not you-s

Of all the things I can never see again

Of all the things I can never feel again

Nothing comes as close and I really miss you

It's 1 am or maybe 2 and I'm crying

Because you should have been here

You should have been able to read this in the morning

And tell me how terrible I am at writing

Or how I can get too clingy or annoying

But that you'll always continue loving

Oh god, what I would have given up

If only you continued living

I wish you're here to tell me again

That it's gonna be fine

That it's okay to cry

But it's not. 

You're dead and I'm grieving

Waking up became too much of a hassle

And it's times like these that haunts my thoughts

That maybe loving you too much is what

I hated the most