Nyctophile

Often in the dark hours of the night, I ponder over my thoughts and action. Being a nyctophile, I have found solitude in the dark, accepting the fact that I have no light left in my life. Maybe I am depressed, maybe I am lonely, maybe I don't know what's going on with me. In the times of the early sunrise, that's when I actually feel the fright of a sleepless night and realisation that i just spent a rather good night in thinking about the things that for once, I cannot change.

I have many friends who are awake at night, but none with whom I can actually talk to and blabber out all the little thoughts and feelings of my weak and tangible heart. There could be something wrong with me,yes,but why haven't I been able to find it? Are our problems like cancer, you only find them when it's too late to fight back?

One of my followers on the internet rightly said that it is the night when you actually feel lost, sitting all alone in the room, with no one to talk to while in the day you can always sugar coat it with a big fake smile on that face that is still stained with your salty tears. In the day, you can always wear that mask, but at night, you always have to come with terms to yourself.
I am actually grateful, so very grateful for the eight hours of darkness which slowly spreads out across the globe, for if it had not been for those eight hours of solitude, I would not have been able to know myself. Know and understand the REAL me, the one without the mask.