Open Letter For You

For the Guy that loathes me, 

Everytime I say "I hate you" I actually meant the opposite. 

Oops, I spilled. I don't know where to start. I just can't stop my thoughts from drowning me. 

I have secrets to tell you.

 Sometimes I step back for you to shine. Sometimes I don't do my best so you can be the best.Because that will make you happy. That's the best thing that I could do to make you happy even if I'm not. 

Sometimes when I argue with you, I just want to talk to you. I want to talk to you everyday. I want to comfort you when you're down even if I always need someone to comfort me.  I always stalk your Twitter Account. Maybe trying to find some stuff about your whereabouts. 

I never said to you but I love the perfume you used everyday. A favorite smell that always lingers and flutters my torn-up heart. I love your smile. A familiar grin that I always want to see. 

You always come in to my mind, and I mean everyday, every hour, every minute.I never told you but I want to go to your church every Friday just to spend more time with you. You'll never know that I always pray for your well-being even though you didn't care about me. 

I will always search your face in a crowded place. Every time that I will speak in front of our classmates, I always search for your face. I always look in your eyes. Looking in that dark brown orbs gave me comfort and makes me feel at ease.

For the guy that loathes me, I know that I can't replace her. I can't be her. I know that you won't love me. I just want you to know that, I really do love you. And I hate myself for loving someone that can be mine and won't love me back. And also, I want you to know that I will be happy if you and her will end up together, will be married and have kids. Those things that i can't experience with you.

For the guy that loathes me, I will always love you. Even if when we will separate ways, and we will enter adulthood, you are still the one that I love. 

I love you. 

Sincerely, 

The one that you loathes