To the Girl that He Loves

To the girl that he loves, 

I can't be you, and I'll never be. 

One of my hopeless hopes is to be you. To be the girl that he love. But I know that I can't be you. Nor be closely like you.  Because I'm not pretty like you. You emits optimism, the one that people will always admire, while I emits dark aura. That when people see me, they'll say, "She looked like she loathes everyone"You are a ray of sunshine, like a darling of the crowd, while I'm a pessimistic ugly commoner, the one you could never get a word with. 

Sucks to be me right?

Almost everyone that you'll meet will instantly like you. Like who wouldn't? Right? Your face would always stands out in a crowd, your skin is as white as porcelain, your body is seems like a great sculptor have sculpted it. While I am on my best being an anti-social. A frown in the face, creased forehead, a sunburned skin, a body full of scars. But, I know life is always unfair. 

You always see the good in everything and everyone while I see this world as a fake, and dirty reality. 

His friends like you. His friends hates me. You are so religious and family-oriented while I'm a non-believer and an another black sheep. You don't get mad. While I am a hot-headed person who cuss a lot. 

When I'm with him, I always put an argument. Because it was the only thing I can do to spend more time talking to him.  While when he's with you, he'll never get bored, even sometimes all you do was plaster a grin on your face while he's talking.

Okay, I admit, It hurts. It hurts so bad. 

Almost everyone loves you. And I'm always the one that they hate. You are polite and kind, while I'm every bad thing in this world. 

I'm every bad thing.

He loves you. He loathes me. 

Please, love him back--- because I know that he won't love me back. Please, promise me that you will take care of him. Please don't make him feel unwanted. Talk to him if he seems so down---- because he always have his anxiety. When you have an argument, fix it right away--- for all the arguments that we had wasn't even fixed. Please don't make him feel insecure--- because I know all of his doubts. 

Please don't hurt him. Because all that I wished was his happiness. And I know I know I could never give it to him, because you are his happiness. 

I love himml. I will always love him. 

Maybe I can't love again after him. Please invite me on your wedding day; I might be busy if that will happen but I will come. To see him standing on the altar with the tears caused by joy and a wide smile that I always adore. To see him happy on marrying his love of his life. And that is enough for me. It might hurt me so damn much but I would be happy for the both of you. 

I would always trade my sleepless nights and buckets of tears to see his smile. I want to see his familiar smile, his familiar scent that lingered on my nose. His familiar voice, his laughter. Everything about him. If this ain't great love I don't know what this is. 

To the girl that he loves, he doesn't know all of these things. He don't know any single thing. Can you please let him know if ever I'm gone to achieve my dreams? 


Sincerely, 

The Girl He'll never love