Shadow days

Despair is an old company.

In lighter days he is the shadow overcasting every object,

In darker days, he is the strongest.

Strangling and suffocating,

Clouding all reasons for treasons.

Despair is an old felony:

He has lived longer than us,

To love him is unutterable,

But to let him linger past us might be a way.

Despair is a place of solace, disillusion, a state of being.

When emptiness routes the soul forbidding any dream,

I try to smile a placid smile with an untold torment tearing me apart inside.

The storm outside pulls me swirling under and- I am weak,

Currents strong and waters deep beckon me to eternal sleep.

Yet I awake each day for one more try and only Fate can say if I live or die,

But live I must or I will miss my chance to smile again.

To have Hope again.

I have had enough of all my fears,

Choking up when weaknesses nears,

I have had enough of all my tears,

Streaming down my frozen cheeks.

All the darkness, all the pain,

Just waiting for it all to end.

Buried in a minefield, I am,

Or a meadow of stars,

A shackle or a shield,

Inimitably reducing

Any conformity and its need

Creating its memories,

Killing its creed.

I am dying slowly,

Or living fast,

I fall in a different darkness,

I chase a different sunbeam,

Each moment

I am dying slowly,

Everything I did

Is nothing but regret.