Somedays

Someday, you're going to know how I loved you so much it frustrated me a lot.

Someday, you'll know that I saw how you went from being happy to sad and how my heart broke each and every time a crease forms in your face and how I wanna trace them one by one.

Someday, you'll understand why I kept walking that aisle to the farthest comfort room because that's where you sit and that's where I get the perfect view of your serious face while your eyes are glued on your computer.

Someday, you'll know how I loved your serious face.

Someday, you'll know how much it worried me whenever I come to work earlier thinking you might not be coming in anymore and dread not seeing you again.

Someday, you'll know you made me love Mondays and you're the reason why. You'll then know why I was never absent during Mondays thinking then I'll have more days to see you.

Someday, you'll know I never really intended to fall for  you nor it was my choice. I never chose you. But it was that Tuesday afternoon and I was having a bad day, you called me by the wrong name and joked about my crooked brows. You called me ridiculous but then I thought, aren't we all? And we laughed. I never heard such a nice laugh I actually liked in a long time.

Someday, you'll know how I loved you on your bad days and loved you even more when you're just being your usual self. You smile, I smile. You frown, I frown. You tell people things and I'm all ears like it's my business. You've always been my business.

Someday, I'll let you know it was never love at first sight. Because I didn't love you the first time I saw you that day wearing that usual long face. It's because I loved you everyday and just kept loving you at every turn, every laugh, every frown, every yawn and every word you utter. You amaze me. You make me glad. You make me glad about love and how that feels. You make me feel glad I loved you.

Someday, you'll know you weren't just a part of my days— you were the backbone of my days. The anchor of my schedule. There was nothing I wouldn't cancel out for you. Had you known.

Someday, you'll know how you gave me the kind of feelings that people right novels about. It's whenever I count my blessings, I count you twice. Or maybe more than just twice.

And someday, you'll know it was not because you were not good for me but because I wasn't right for you. Because sometimes, when we love someone, we owe it to them to help them get what they truly deserve and be willing to sacrifice our own intentions for their comfort. And I never wanted you to be bothered by my feelings. Or maybe sometimes, loving someone doesn't always equal to letting them know and being loved in return.

Perhaps, someday. When the timing is right, you'll know. And hopefully, you'll understand how there was never a day I never fell in love with you.