Stop. Breathe. Regroup.

How often now do you hear someone around you saying, 'I am really really tired and not okay.' Too often right?  We have bad days and we have good ones. But sometimes these bad days aren't ''just bad days''. These are days when we are at our lowest, these are days when we are questioning every ounce of our being, these are days when we doubt our capability. We think of the things that have happened with us and we think of the things that could have been different. And these thoughts take a toll on us, they put us in a whirlwind and we can't find a way to stop it. 

The mental health of the people around me has been of a concern to me for quite some time. There are people around me who are currently dealing with a bad breakup, someone who is dealing with having been forgotten by a very dear friend, someone who is trying to figure themselves out again and someone who is opening the doors to discovering what is up with them. I, being the person that I am, had been trying to help each of them in whatever way that I can. I was being there for every one of them and hoping that it was enough. But also, being the person that I am, somewhere down the line eluded myself to believe that their problems were mine, I decided that I should be as affected by their problem as they were because that is the only way I would be a good friend.

However, in the mood that I am in today, I realize that it is important to give myself a break too. And the same goes for you if you stand in the same space. Sometimes it is important to distance yourself from these issues. Sometimes you need to realize that the problem was never yours to deal with in the first place. Sometimes you must realize that it is completely okay to take a few steps back, even jump away a little.

Mental Health is defined as a person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.

Mental health differs for people. It differs in the way it manifests, it differs in what triggers it, it differs in how they perceive it and it differs in how they deal with it. But what remains common in all of this is what the person feels and that is that- They are not okay. What remains the same is that they feel lost and helpless and they don’t know what to do next. What remains the same is that sometimes no matter how much they try they can never figure out what exactly went wrong with them. They are not able to find out at what moment of their life did shit go so wrong that they haven’t been able to make their way back from the mess after that. 

A lot of times they are so tired of having fought the same war again and again that they don’t think it’s worth it anymore. They think that it is okay to not be okay. 

For someone who is dealing with a situation or a person like this should always remember to never disregard the other person’s feeling. They should at no time try and justify what the other person feels, and they should not try to tell them that everything is okay. Because it is not, and as much as we want it to be, it is not okay, and everyone knows that. So, don’t try and elude the other person and try to provide sympathy because they aren't looking for that. They feel bad about themselves enough that they do not need an addition to their list.

What you can do is tell them that is it okay to not be okay, but it isn't okay to stay that way. What you can do is help them pick themselves up again and to stand on their feet and you can let them know that you will be their support and their strength through all of this. '

You can help them stand up again, but you can't stand up for them. They have to do that using their own two feet and this is something you both should always remember. 

A conversation that I was having with my sister is what lead me to write this. We talked about how the concept of suicide is something that is not entirely understood by the universe. We as people hold the power to destroy our own life but also to make a new one. We are the animal species who has mastered the art to drive their own thoughts to be so toxic and so evil that they believe they no longer have the need to live. We, as people, have the strength to vanish from the surface of this earth without having to give an explanation to anyone, without having to justify ourselves and without having to deal with what happens once we are gone. 

I am someone who has dealt with the death of a friend who took his own life and no matter how much I try I can never get myself to understand why that happened or why he did what he did. Maybe I will never be able to and maybe that is a good thing, but the thought keeps me busy sometimes. 

They say that god is someone who has the power to create and destroy. And we as humans also hold the power of life and death in our hands. So, doesn't that make us all God?

In conclusion to everything that has been said above, I mean to harm no one or to offend anyone’s mental state of mind. I understand how the way we see life can be very different and this is nothing but a gentle reminder from my side to you to maybe just give yourself a break once in a while. 

When was the last time you sat and thought of what you were feeling? When was the last time you sat in a room alone and ate ice cream and just chilled with yourself- no pretense, no masks, no expectations? When was the last time you called up your friend and asked if everything was okay with them and that you would be there for them? When was the last time you told your friend that you need to distance yourself from them because they were starting to affect your psyche? When was the last time you did something for yourself, purely selfish?

If your answer has been that is a very recent thing I am happy for you. But if any of these questions made you think, even a little, take a step back today and regroup yourself. 

You cannot break and you cannot keep giving up a piece of yourself to others if there is nothing left of you. No, it does not make you a bad person to take time out for yourself. No, it does not make you evil. 

It only makes you human. And that is okay.