That guy

I miss you so much. 

This is so hard hubby. I don't know how can you be so fine while here I am, drowning myself with liquor.  Wrecking myself, desperately looking for the cure of this pain. 

How can you leave me without saying a single word? Aren't you too cruel hubby? Is saying " I don't love you anymore" that hard? Or maybe you don't love me in the first place that's why you easily left me without feeling anything. If that's the case, then how hubby? How can you say you love me while looking straight to my eyes? 

Then hubby, How can you leave without saying goodbye? Or just the word "bye." Because there's nothing good about goodbyes in our situation. Is it hard to say with that mouth of yours that word?

You never gave me an answer. And here I was, overthinking, assuming things, aching to find an answer why you left.  

I still wait for you, hubby. Pathetic? Well, I really am. But I hope you understand me for being like this pathetic little foolish girl. This is too sudden for me, hubby. I can't accept the fact that you're gone. Never did I expect we will end just like this. How did it end like this after the ups and downs that we have been through together?  How can you leave me with your promises? You promised hubby! You promise you won't let go. You promise you won't leave me! Where are your promises now?

Another reason why you left is maybe I'm not enough. Then if that's your reason hubby, I blame myself for not being the woman you wanted me to be. 

Talk to me hubby, even for once. Just tell me you don't want me anymore. Or even if you will tell me lies, I will believe it, hubby. If that's what you want to tell me, I will understand it wholeheartedly. Just talk to me please I'm begging you, hubby.  

If you want to prove something, then you already won hubby. I'm already hurting right now. Make it stop hubby. This pain is tearing me apart. Never did I thought this will be so hard. 

Your sudden disappearance left me in pieces. Yet you left me hoping. Hoping that you have a good reason why you left. Hoping that you have a good reason for not reading my messages in your inbox. Hoping that you have a good reason for leaving me without a word. And you left me hoping that maybe you will come back to me.