The Faded Spark

"We always start off easy." 

I thought to myself. We loved each other so deeply that everything seemed like a fantasy. We never thought that things would end in a way like this. What kind of a fool am I to actually take the risk of letting go of a love so strong and allowing it to crumble into dust then to nothingness

I thought about it again, the day my heart grew a permanent hole, the whole situation of the end of us. 

"Hey, I have something to tell you." I said to him with very cold feet. I have thought this through a thousand times and I knew, I was so sure that I had to face it this way. 

This is the right way. 

I was prepared for whatever thing would come next.

At least I thought I was. 

"Yes?" he replied. 

He looked at me and there was something about the way he stared into my eyes that made me think twice. 

No...

I have to be strong. I simply need to inform. I just needed to let him know that I did something wrong.

and everything will be okay... 

right?

"I just need to let you know, I need to see ummm... I just hope you would understand me." I mumbled out thoughtlessly.

He looked at me calmly but seriously. It was as if he expected what was coming. 

Before I could say anything, he said my name softly. 

My heart was beating like crazy. 

"You love him, don't you? That 'best friend' of yours." he said without hesitation or doubt. I never knew my heart would feel that painful.

"It's okay. It's pretty damn obvious." he continued

I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I felt so weak and stupid.

"It's not like I want to. He was just... I don't know." I mumbled out again. I felt a huge lump in my throat for a part of me knew what was going to happen next. 

What he said next just simply killed me on the spot.

"I don't think we should go on anymore." 

The rest of my tears came chasing the one single drop from earlier. 

"But I will always choose you. You know that I will always love you." I said in between heavy sobs.

"There shouldn't be any other choice to begin with." he said softly beneath the anger in his voice and his expression. 

"Didn't I love you enough?" he blurted out a bit.

I just sat there crying my heart out like an idiot. 

We started hearing a few voices from the hallway and I knew the others were coming.

So... 

... he left me. 

I ran out to the restroom and stayed there. 

The world was never the same since. I knew the spark was gone. I always thought that it's going to be easy to move on. 

How wrong was I?

You never truly know the value of what you had until you finally lose it. That's when you know that you have thrown away one of the greatest things in your life.