The Leviathan

The light pierces through the veil of the sea, as if trying to desperately reach the edge of the darkness, but fading, dispersing and dissolving halfway. The moon is the mother to these brave warriors that fight and loose a war in every moment, over and over again. She levitates over the sky, yet her image flickers in minor motions as the wind caresses it's lover.

I float, beneath the verge of existence, six feet under the surface. I don't breathe. Maybe I can't. My hands, my feet, my entire body fails to obey me and as another moment passes, I finally realize, perplexed at the conclusion, it is a rebellion. The sea fills the space around me, a milieu lacking in existence. She whispers nothing, speaking fluently, the language of silence, tolerating my presence, full of absolute emptiness.

This isn't real, it can't be. I stay hung here, going nowhere, showing no sign of life. I remember the day before- coming home, doing chores, then killing time while I wait to drift into a deep slumber. And as I recall the motions of my day, the sea reflects it back to me. I can't move. I don't drown. This has to be a dream.

I just wait. There is nothing. Not even me. I can't feel myself. No more memories play in her essence, no more motions. Suddenly, I see a part of the gluttonous darkness move. For what seems days, I hear something. A hear a motion. He observes me, from afar, never leaving the dark, and eventually when he thinks it's enough, he rises up to meet me, the giant Leviathan, and swallows the sea and me along with her.I wake up. It's over I suppose.

Then, I find myself back here again. Speaking to her in while saying nothing, listening to her silence, as if it would deliver me a story I've never heard before. Tonight, my body readies for battle, letting out fumes the boil her essence. I feel myself burning alive, inside a sea, unable to move, unable to drown, unable to stop myself from spontaneously combusting into nothing but. Low fire. My light draws him out. The Leviathan watches from afar, mesmerized, or maybe curious. Then I feel it. The pain isn't on my crust where the flames kiss my flesh, it's inside me, in my core. I've felt this before, when I'm awake. This fracas of voices in my head that dance chaotically to the rhythm of galloping thoughts that charge my sanity like a cavalry. The siege never ends as stones after stones fall from my walls and my core shatters. And he just watches. My eyes, the most loyal of my companions, tries to ease my pain but as my tears run to find supplies, they are swallowed. So I stay, burning, hurting. After what seems like years, after he is done with his observations of my behaviour, he finally concludes that maybe I deserve mercy. He rises up to me swallowing my flames and me along with it. And I wake up.

He moves this time, charging to the surface, then waits, observing my reaction, and recedes. I feel like a lab rat, being studied by this powerful bieng whose intellect I cannot fathom just like the depth of her essence. After a few rounds though, he slips back to his favourite suit, and disappears in the depths. But I still see him moving, vaguely. Then, he stops altogether. Maybe he is asleep. Maybe he is tired. Whatever the reason, he leaves. As the moments pass, her resounding silence penetrates my flesh. The emptiness that fills my surrounding drowns my mind. I open my mouth and I scream with all the strength I can muster. It is drowned early and doesn't travel far, but, if only for a moment now, there is something here other than me, even if it's my own voice. So I scream again. And again. And again. And again. After what feels like centuries, he rises, awoken by my voice rending the silence. Then, in a moment, he rushes up, swallowing my voice along with me and I wake up.

Now, here I am again, as she surrounds me, ensconcing me in her silence, wrapping me in nothingness. But this time, she is apoplectic. Her tolerance has been tested time and again, with an unwanted guest, with fire and with a riving sound. He patience breaks and I feel her power. It pushes against my epidermis, crushing me. My body reacts and I start flailing. My heart starts pumping toxins in my blood. A perfect brew of greif, hope and desire. Desire tastes the strongest. I try swimming upwards, but as my arms and legs move, her essence acquiesces to my thrust, but never do they thrust back at me. So I stay there, going nowhere, crushed by nothing, breathing nothing, until my lungs start to burn. I cry, I scream and I fight. My tears vaporise and between the volleys of my voice, the silence wins. She contorts and wraps around me, never fighting back, and yet still winning every battle. I know that after what will feel like an eternity, the Leviathan will rise again, intrigued by my behaviour and swallow the desperation and me along with it. But I don't want it. I try to grab something using my arms, something to hold onto, hoping my voice would reach someone, anyone, wishing that only if those rays of light would turn solid, but they don't. Nobody hears me. Nothing to hold on to. Then the darkness beneath me extends to burying it's claw in my legs and almost turning them into ice. I know this feeling. It drags me down, the fear, slowly as I watch the moon getting smaller by the second. I fight a bit harder and scream a bit louder, but nothing changes.

I believe that the leviathan will rise, swallowing the fear and me along with it, I just don't know when.