The Park Connection.......

Why am I unable to reply you? Is someone around? Heyyyy? and I woke up..What was that I was dreaming ? Is it something relevant ? Why was I unable to respond to Kunal's messages in my dream? Had he been trying to contact me all the while when I was sleeping...I look at my messenger ..but no Message...suddenly a thought strikes my mind and I open up my mailbox...He has sent me an email ..My heart sinks...memories of an email about an year ago pass through my head ...I have a feeling of being in the same situation once again ..and so, without reading from top, I quickly reach the bottom of that mail and voila!!! This is exactly as expected but.....I do not cry..."This guy is totally out of his mind!! That idiot doesn't even realize what he is doing !! I need to meet him " and determined to take Pari didi's help, I get my guts together and reach Uni..Pari didi is late.. she comes and I give her a smile...Take her away to an isolated corner and show her the email..."Do you think what he is doing is right?" I ask ..."NO" Was Pari didi's reply and I tell her that I wanna go to Bangalore to meet Kunal..." NO" Pari didi replies with a heavy heart...which took me as a surprise ...What was it ? Pari didi had always been an elder sister...only she was the one who knew about my relationship with Kunal and yesterday only she was asking me to correct my mistakes, give him more time...she even was willing to lend me money for going to Bangalore, where Kunal lives and meet him..What happened now? What is it that she has lost all hope about it whereas I haven't yet ! "He had already told me all this in a message yesterday evening" Pari didi continues.. " And he also asked me to tell you this ..but I could not tell you this so I asked him to tell all this to you himself" "What was written in his message dii ? Do you have it now?" I ask Pari didi.." I just read the first line that said " I have decided to move on" and there was a big note that followed about understanding and stuff. I did not feel it was anything worth reading So I deleted it " was Pari didi's reply. So, I felt something between these last lines by Pari didi...What was it ?............... Heart break ????? I broke down!! The guy I do not dare to even imagine with any other woman...Who showed me a future with him ...comprising of kids, a loving mom-in law (whom I had begun adoring as my own), a strict papa ...overall a "Family".. So all this is over? Just over an email ? Was it so easy to finish off everything that was built together by us over a period of an year ? I broke ...But I knew I am not okay and I needed to grieve ...So I composed myself and hastily took Pari dii to the Same park...which I left yesterday with a hope and today I am here again with everything broken... So, I cry ...I cried and I cried....I cried my heart out ....for hours..told my colleagues that I was away at doctor's but I sat just there ... in that nearby park ...grieving over the thing that was broken...the relationship..the heart...the trust , hope, faith everything was put to test ...But the funny thing was ...I could feel the damn heartbreaking thing in every cell of my body...My tummy was runny...My legs were cramped... and I was feeling no hunger.....Ahhh!! Why does it have to be so tough ? Whhhyyyy? I kept asking myself alot of questions?? But was there any answer ?? No !! and  finally, I give up the victimized costume as it was time ..to face the world!! Coz I am not a coward who quits and hides herself...