THESE LIGHTS

It was just another ordinary day in May when two unseemingly fit people met. The train was not crowded when Lottie entered which she thanked the most because the last time she went in a crowded train a dude who she didn’t know touched her lady bum. She didn’t dare to confront the man because she did not want the crowd to know that somebody actually did such a licentious act to her. She put her headphones on, opened her playlist and shut the world around her. She observed the train, the faces of the people around her until something made her uncomfortable. She noticed the man who was seated on the opposite side of the train was staring at her. She pulled off her headphone and raised a brow though it almost didn’t become visible with her glasses on.

“Are you going to say anything?” Lottie asked.

“I-I’m sorry,” the stranger smiled, “It’s just that you are – “

“You better say something nice.”

“You are pretty,” replied the stranger.

Lottie rolled her eyes in disbelief but something about how the guy said it that made her chuckle.

“I meant what I said. And pretty girls like you don’t deserve to be sad.”

Lottie averted her gaze from the man.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those. But you really are pretty and I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable,” the man said who remained stranger to her even until this moment.

Lottie chuckled a bit more at hearing those words. No one has ever told her such (lies as to how she considered them).

“Lottie,” she said, “my name’s Lottie”

“Frank. Frank Snow” the man awkwardly reached his hand to hers but immediately returned it to his pocket after the distance between their seats didn’t allow him to.

“So where are you headed to?” Frank asked.

“At Morrie’s. If you know what I mean.”

“Wait the recently opened restaurant. You came all the way for it?” Frank sounded obviously surprised.

“Yeah? Been there?

“No. But I have heard of the place. My friends say the place is great. They even recommended me to visit it before it gets another star or else I’ll have to pay more.”

“Are you alone too?”

“Well, yeah. I’m heading home but I think I might delay it for a few minutes. Can I go with you?”

Lottie pondered for a second and thought about the list.

“I guess so. Yeah,” Lottie answered hesitantly “but don’t you ever think it is some sort of date, okay?”

Frank laughed and immediately composed himself when Lottie didn’t.

“Yeah. I mean why would it be a date? Pfft. Leave that thought to the people,” Frank laughed again.

“I don’t care about what people think. People’s opinions become irrelevant when you’re slowly dying.”

When the two reached the stop, they had a little talk on the way to the restaurant. Frank couldn’t keep himself from looking at the woman beside him. She wasn’t his type yet he felt something so different about this woman and everything she did just gravitate him more. It was like an hour ago since they met yet he felt like they have met before, like a déjà vu but he wasn’t sure. Frank couldn’t help noticing her list. She often looked on her list. He couldn’t make out what was written in there but he was sure it meant to her.

He dared not to ask her about it as they were not that close to talk about the most random things they do as such are only made by people who are too close a friend or by couples.

I want to know her more that was what he thought. He braved himself up and asked her questions only people with intimate proximity do which Lottie didn’t deprive him of.

The two exchanged numbers and said their goodbyes to each other.

It was 8 in the morning when the sunlight streaked through the open blinds which awoken Lottie up. She jumped out of the bed and opened her bag and fished out her list. She noticed there were three things she wasn’t able to do last night. She took her phone and saw an unregistered number in her inbox. It read, “Good morning, beautiful”. She didn’t try to guess who the sender was so she replied, “Who’s this?”

Lottie cannot waste her time so she hurried down to the bathroom to get a fresh bathe before proceeding to her next destination. She either accomplish them all or else she will never be able to do them ever.

She checked her list again and decided to pursue going to the beach nearby. It wasn’t as beautiful as the ideal beaches but it was calm, free from the presence of toxic people intoxicating the things around them and the place itself is picturesque. It didn’t take her long before she reached the place. She breathed the sea air and closed her eyes like she does when something truly beautiful is around her. She placed a mat against the sand and fished out the food she had prepared for herself. She bought a sumptuous Thai food which made three things from her list accomplished which include wearing a two-piece which she wasn’t really comfortable wearing before. It wasn’t that long enough when someone’s shadow disturbed her me time. The shadow belonged to that of an obviously muscular man which she thought resembled to someone she knew.

It was Frank who was again smiling upon seeing her. She couldn’t afford not to fantasize the man’s smile.

“It’s you,” Frank broke the silence.

“And it’s you,” Lottie replied. “What are you doing down here?”

“I live near here.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Sunbathing huh?”

“Yeah. I’ve always – oh my,” Lottie immediately covered herself from Frank before his eyes could get to somewhere else.

“I – I’m sorry. You haven’t been to beaches?”

“How did you know?”

“Girls wear their bikinis when they go to beaches.”

“What does that possibly mean?”

“You obviously haven’t worn that before. And your reaction earlier made it clear.”

“Am I that naïve?”

“No, no. It’s actually rare for a woman to do such. I mean to be as refined as you are.”

“That’s because I’m Asian.” Lottie chuckled.

“Really? So what are you?”

“I’m a Filipina”

“That makes sense. So why are you wearing such then?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Well then, at least let me share this moment with you.” Frank flashed his smile again which Lottie thought was thawing her undergarments.

“Wait, are you actually falling in love with me again?

Frank was taken aback but managed to fake his laugh.to convince her that he didn’t.

“You better not mister, if you don’t want to be miserable after.”

“All men become miserable when they engage women into their lives. But love makes it feel like it isn’t.”

“Whoa! I didn’t quite catch that,” Lottie chuckled as a new quality of the man was again registered before her. “By miserable, what do you actually mean?”

“I mean the need to deprive yourself of the things you want to give your woman what she wants, the need to tire yourself up for the family you will create, the need to follow your girl’s prohibitions, the need to listen to her screams, etc.”

“That’s way too deep for a jock like you to see those things.”

“So you better not be in love with me.” Frank flashed his most challenging look to the woman before him.

“Try me,” Lottie, fully aware of the challenge, acquiesced.

“Yeah?”

“Well, I was born ready.”

“Then wrap these all up. We’re heading somewhere.”

The sun had sunk to the horizon yet the two were still not over from going to different places. They played billiard, went to the seaside carnival, watched a football match and took a few shots of brandy. When the light had given way for the dark, the two ended up recounting what they did on that day. Frank was still tipsy which made him more dashing to Lottie.

“You won,” Frank said.

“Excuse me?”

“You already have my heart right from the moment you told me your name,” Frank replied now more serious. “Consider this one a date.”

“Wait, give me a minute. How could you tell me this all the sudden?”

“Because I just feel like telling you."

“Frank, I’m sorry. But I cannot return to you the favor,” Lottie lost all the confidence to look at Frank’s eyes and averted them to the city lights. The park glowed like that of the common scenes in romantic movies – peaceful, verdant, and gold because of the auriferous shade casted off by the lamp posts.

“You see those lights?” Lottie said.

“What about them?”

“They look beautiful aren’t they?”

“Yeah, they are.”

“By dawn, they will lose their effervescent glow and succumb.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Frank, I’m dying,” Lottie breathe heavily.

“Is this why you always have a list with you? Was it about the things you’re going to do?”

“Frank, you’re not listening! We can’t continue this. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Trust me, I know what I am doing. Just let me accomplish all the things you have on your list with you. I love you, Lottie. And loving means not giving up for the people you love even when the pain’s the toll because love is love.”

Lottie’s heart throbbed and pounded with all the words her ear registered. She looked at the man beside her and she knew no. 9 was accomplished – to be loved by somebody. She couldn’t contain the emotions that welled up within her. She motioned towards the lad beside her, instigating what could be her first kiss.

Their eyes closed, jaws cupped with each other’s hands, and tongues motioned. They could feel each other’s hearts pumping more rapidly every time their bodies touched. It was like yesterday since they first met yet their hearts and bodies longed for each other like a couple in search for each other and finally met. Everything around was just so perfect that they, for a couple of minutes, forgot that they were in a public place but since the romantic atmosphere was all around, they drowned themselves unto that emotion that is bursting from within them.

For four months, they did a lot of Lottie’s firsts – cussed at their bitter exes, attended The Late Late Show with James Corden, wrote songs, rode on a canoe, strolled along the beach at night, sang at the local cabarets with country music, sprayed the walls at the streets, made out under the stars with all the wines they had not tasted yet and a lot more.

“It has been a long night Frank,” Lottie smiled as she wiped the tears away that have escaped from her boyfriend’s eyes.

“It is, my love,” Frank held his lover’s hand.

“It has been a four-month-long night, love. And the dawn is here.”

“And even when the dawn is finally here, know that the light you have given me while never lose their glow. Lottie Alcantara, know that it will outlive these lights and so are the memories we made.”

“Fr-Frank, why me?”

“Because you are you. I don’t have any reasons, babe. I don’t want reasons to determine my love for you.”

Frank leaned his girlfriend’s head to his shoulder and felt her heartbeat.

“Did I make you happy?” Frank noticed her heartbeat became slow.

“More than happy, babe,” her voice stuttered. “I love you Fr – “

“I love you too, babe.”

Tears when off Frank’s eyes when he could no longer feel his girl’s heartbeat. The words Lottie had left him made him feel a little lucky as not all people are fortunate enough to have heard their lover’s last words. Frank could feel his heart dying away with Lottie, he let the tears empty him within. But even with Lottie gone, he braved himself up like how he did on the first day they met and thought to himself that as long as he lives, Lottie will always be alive for him until his last taste of dawn.

The End.