To the life you never want to accept

How do you feel when you're given all the freedom you wanted? Happy right? Wow! Once in a blue moon.

Isn't it irritating when the answer is simply a "no" for something that you wanted to do desperately? Like, you never know whether this opportunity will come back again or not.

You don't want all this, right? You want to live on your own terms.

But, I want it. As desperately as you want to feel free.

I have never heard "no" as an answer. Everything I have asked for, I've always had it. Even if I'm not allowed, I still get it. That's how stubborn I am. Always allowed for everything. Be it getting a tattoo, or getting my hair coloured, or getting pierced elsewhere, or getting my hair cut short to a length nobody wants to accept. Anything. Everybody wishes to get freedom like that.

But the negative points that come with this level of freedom are something that nobody takes into consideration.

It's a feeling you get, that "nobody gives a fuck". Everybody wants to do what they like. But only when one wants to, not always. I feel privileged when somebody puts in efforts to correct me when I am wrong.

Nobody can be right always. Sometime or the other we need somebody to get us back on the right track from the wrong step we are about to take. This is what one's parents would obviously do.

But, what do you do when you are left alone to decide what you are about to do is right or wrong? When you have permission to do everything. When nobody asks you at what time you'll be home. Or when there's always somebody to pay but nobody to help. This is not because nobody cares. It's because, they think I can do everything by myself. Because they think, I am mature enough to take care of myself. How do I tell them that I have always been craving for the support I received only when I was young. I don't want to be Independent. I'm Tired of doing what I want. I just want to surrender myself and depend upon them. I don't want to be brave. And, I don't want anything life wants to offer other than support.