To the one who saved my heart, but then broke it.

Dear Love, 

You were there when I was emotionally ruined. You know my heartbreaking love story. You know how hard I tried to fight for it but still he gave up on me. You know how I wished to put things back together. You know how many nights I spent on crying hoping he’d call. And you know the days I was too weak because I missed him. We’ve been through many sweet and tough times. And with all the twists, we didn’t make it to go up again. Everything has rolled down. Our dreams were all gone. “That only means you’re not for each other,” that’s what you always told me. You helped me believe it. You saved my heart from brokenness, you fixed it. I love it how you squeeze my arms whenever I say something stupid. Sometimes I’d like you to hug me tight instead. And I love the very first time you came to me with a coffee, you didn’t know that time I don’t drink hot coffee but because it was from you, I took it. Other people really had thought we’re a perfect couple.

As the days went by, I found myself in confused. Too many questions I’d like you to answer but I’m scared of the truth. What are we? Why were you doing these? Why were you acting like you really care for me? Was this just a part of your ways to help me moved on from the past? Were you still holding me just to take away the pain? Would you left me after fixing the pieces? Maybe it was nothing for you but you ought to know how you made me feel whole again. You took not just my hand; you have my heart with it. You once said “No man wouldn’t fall for you,” does that mean you could love me too?

If waiting means forever, you know I won’t hold on to it. I need more than words. You have already shown me how much you care, what I need to see now is how you fight for it. How do you feel towards me? Is there a chance in your heart that we could be more than friends? I need an answer. Just a simple Yes or No. I don’t want to assume but the things you do couldn’t stop me from falling. Please tell me now. If “nothing” is what this all mean, I’ll accept that. I won’t say goodbye but thank you rather. Thank you for being honest. Thank you for giving me the chance to pull myself out from expectations that we could be something for real. But I have one condition before this letter ends, please stop texting me. If you happened to see me coming along where you are going, please go on the other way. If you meet my friends, please don’t send your regards to me. Don’t try to talk me. Please be gone for a while. I don’t know when this will fade but like what you’ve said before, nothing lasts forever. You know this would be so hard for me but if this is the only way I could end my sufferings, please help me get through this. Help me move on, again.