To Papa, with a heart heavy with emotions

I feel your presence in our home every day, every minute. Maybe thats how I have come at peace with the fact that even if I can no longer see you physically, I know you're there watching us, blessing us. I peek into your empty room every now and then, for reasons I do not understand. Mumma looks at your photograph and weeps in silence, hoping that we didn't notice it. Didi has been the strongest and the most responsible elder one, and we are as proud of her as you are :)

I hear a lot of stories from students and families about how you have been the guiding light in their lives. Like every father, you always wanted us to achieve higher than you could, and raised us the exact same way you would have if we were boys. From making us learn how to fix a bulb, to handle household works, you have given us wisdom and expertise that a father does to his son, and made us gracious, elegant women at the same time. You have made us stand confident and assertive in our decisions.

I sometimes get excited about my career, our achievements and future. But the very next moment, deeply saddened to realise that you're no longer here, to watch us grow like you always wanted to. Each day, we think about you in everything that we do. Every single change that has caused after you moved to a different world, far from us. I do not know if I should feel contented to have spent the time with you and let you move to a place where you were no longer in pain, or be upset about not getting to see you everyday like before. I feel hurt that I cannot call out "Papa" ever again. I feel lost when reality reminds me that I can no longer look for your hand when I'm lost. There is a void that you have left in each of us, that can never ever be filled.

I can foresee that with every happiness and success that didi and I achieve, you will always be missed and tears would roll down Mumma's cheeks. I wish you could see us grow and excel in our respective careers and lives, and be with mumma as her companion forever. No amount of words and paragraphs can describe the series of emotions we are going through. It still seems like a nightmare which isn't ending yet. I see you in my dreams and feel absolutely normal, like nothing ever changed. It's a shock that we can probably never overcome, but I promise you, that we shall be better, stronger and brave as you always taught us. You have left behind your wife and children, but with numerous cherishing moments that would always remain in our hearts. You may have gone far away, but you continue to live in each of us.

We miss you, Papa. I know that God is taking care of you, and you must be at peace, up above. We love you more than we have ever expressed, and more than you have ever known.

Aapki beti