Toxicity and Depression

In the shackles of her,

I was living my life.

Welcome y’all, for reading one more phase of mine.

Yes, it was her.

The one person who started liking my company

for the first time in forever.

As I liked her sense of humour,

I grew more attached.

But, in the place I was,

everyone else seemed to be in buoyancy.

And I started growing more attached to them.

But you know what?

You don’t call someone your best friend,

or family,

just for being funny or witty or confident.

Apparently, actions DO speak louder than words.

I thought suddenly I have so many pals.

But she, you know,

she asserted herself over me.

So did another.

And as gullible as I was in seeing them,

I thought they were my soulmates.

But you don’t have to affirm your love to someone right?

If you are, then that isn't love my dear.

Reality bashed my eyes open,

after almost three years.

That they were nothing 

but using me.

For their own purposes,

be it a presence.

Or someone who can assure emotional stability

to their poor souls,

who used humour, aggression and assertiveness

as a defence mechanism.

Defence to hide the ruin which is inside them.

And what happens next you ask?

Well, of course, these relationships don’t last forever.

They entered my life forcibly,

and left it forcibly.

I had no control over them.

I live my life on my own terms now.

And what about them?

Oh, they will either realise the darkness inside them

and be depressed like me for a while.

Or be the ignorant one forever.

And yes, I too have darkness in me,

It’s because of them.

They dimmed the light in my soul

and ruined it continuously.

For now, as I am depressed,

and supported by other people.

I am able to light that candle again,

and struggling to keep it steady.

.