Yes, I love my Father more!

Well many people have given me that judgmental look when they hear me replying to their question:

'Whom do you love more?'

A question you must have gotten used to since childhood.

Yes, I love my father more irrespective of what anyone thinks I love him more! This doesn’t mean that I don’t love my mother, I do! But I love my father more!

Even though he could not give birth to me but he did contribute the important ‘X’ chromosome that decided my sex. After coming to this world, I was treated well like a ‘girl’ and when I say that, I mean all the clichés associated to ‘being a girl’-clothes, education, marriage, you name it.....

So, let me tell you why I love my father more:

I don't have much memories before I started going to school. Let's say 5 yrs. But the real test started for him when I was to start my schooling.

You see education after family upbringing is what is supposed to carve you and your character in future. Even though boys should study in the best school (also comes with highest fee for being the best) for girls somehow it is considered pointless to study let alone in a good school so my mother (and other relatives) advocated that I should be send to an average school that will not charge much. My father could have fallen for the societal pressure as every other man does but he cut the current and send me to the same school to that of my brother.

He always believed and taught equal rights right from the time I started to make memories and gain knowledge.

The very reason I love him is because he did not care about ‘what people would say’ instead he wanted to be able to face my questions in future.

I love him because apart from him everyone has told me that I cannot do certain things or wear certain kind of clothes just because I am a girl and that also includes my close relatives or sibling.

It took me a while to realize that there is a difference between being a girl and a boy after I started going to school and meeting Male Chauvinist men and women (teachers!) or going to village and listening to people on how 'girls should learn and take care of the household chores and not show interest in sports'.

I love him because during our exams he never bothered mum to make milk for us late at night instead he did it himself. He always stood there as a friend and a mentor to teach lessons of science or life.

I love him for the reason that he never made me sense that I owe him anything for whatever he has done for my upbringing (unlike other members of my family, who treated me like a puppet at times!). He said you’ll get what you deserve and made sure of that!

In India, there’s a big fuss around a girl making boyfriends and the act unswervingly relates to her character. But for my parents they were my best friends and all that mattered to them was my happiness.

I remember my guy friends coming home for lunch and ended up having heartfelt conversations with my parents instead of me! The best memory I ever have is from my school life. Last year in school we friends (both boys and girls) wanted to go for a movie close to the school but since I felt uncomfortable lying to my parents I told dad that we are going out for a movie (Yes, I did mention both guys and girls! Duhh!) which not to my surprise but to my friends surprise he agreed (I still don’t see the reason why he shouldn’t have!) and all I was getting for next half an hr. was handshakes and lecture on how cool my father is and how they wished they had similar parents. Now when I look back their parents didn’t live in village (instead in a metro city) either but there was a lack of trust between parent and child.

I now see no correlation between being a villager and open mindedness they are independent of time and space and of each other!

After graduating my relatives declared I was ready to be tied (as I was qualified enough for a good marriage proposal) with some guy and started proposing for my marriage.

There are not just human beings but scavengers as well who feed on your dreams to satiate their ego.

I have had lots of antagonists in my life- my relatives, sometimes my friends who never failed to remind me that I am a girl and that I should surrender to the nonsense norms of society. That living your dreams is associated with going against your parents.

To them ‘I did judge you (right) based on your mindset but I got my lesson about what kind of person I wanted to be’ and never ever surrendered to their demons.

I do love my mother and I am not completely swept away by my father. My mother did underwrite to my upbringing. She was the reason that I have an emotional side, that I care for my people and not bitch around. Her lessons were moralistic and practical as well but along with that she only saw the fault in my armor whereas my father made sure that my armor is strong enough (Yes, he did make me a soldier!). She got easily influenced by the question 'what people  will say' especially when it came to being a girl!

I love my father because even though I look like my mother we cannot relate to each other when it comes to many beliefs. Well, you can say we walk in different directions.

But I want you to know that her journey and growth itself is an incredible inspiration for me.

I quite often get the comment that I have too strong an attitude and mouth for a girl that I am too outgoing and that my biological clock is ticking but I am not considering marriage yet.

Well partially because I am looking for someone like my father (far-fetched, I know!) who can help me carry this attitude and teachings that I received from my father to my children.

Looks are merely skin deep, the moment you open your mouth you show your true depth.

In India, there are still men and family who believe that attitude (more of brain!) and women don’t go well together. For women family and house still comes as priority by default and not by choice.

In India men are still taught to be a man and by default savior of womanhood.

My father never let me indulge in fantasies or spoiled me because I am a girl, did scold me for not performing well and did ask me to leave home for my graduation to get the real taste of life.

He never stopped me from fighting back if I was right irrespective of who the opponent is. He wanted me to fulfill my dreams on my own. He knew my needs are beyond material things instead it sounded closer to sky high. He gave me a self-respect, a spine and an attitude that some people find it difficult to deal with.

This is my story and let me tell you that even though we all have a chink in our armor but all that matter is how sturdily you can take the blow. You don’t need people who don’t believe in you but that one person who knows your worth even when you are at the worst of your edition.

Above all I love my father for he taught me how to take pride in being a girl and that even though society will try to put a baggage on your shoulder you’re not obliged to carry them. He taught me that arguing for your rights is in no way less beautiful or make you less of a girl!

I am not successful yet but I already feel like a winner with you by my side!

I Love You Dad!