Broken

Why did it have to be this way? Why did you have to leave me here all alone?

I remember it was mid-August

The sun was shining

The birds were chirping

It felt like something out of a fairy tale

And yet I forgot that in every fairy tale there would always be a part wherein everything could go wrong

That everything you've ever dreamed of could all just disappear

It could all just be ripped away from you and you wouldn't even know it

But you knew

I mean you would have had to know that the happy ending that I was dreaming of, that I was hoping for was all going to be destroyed in front of my own eyes

That in your own way, you betrayed me because you knew

You knew that you wouldn't be with me for long

You knew that the promises you were making me were all but false

None of what you told me would have happened

And yet I can't help but wonder what was the point in lying to me in the first place

Was it for my own sake? Or was it purely just for your selfishness?

Was it your intention to hurt me or to save me?

I will never get the answers to all of my questions because you are gone

You are gone

All I have left of you is the bittersweet memories and the pieces in which you left me in

I can do nothing but try and try until I can piece myself back together again

To try until I am whole again, until I am who I was before but I know that will never happen because I am now alone 

You left me to be alone and I will never know whether that was your intention or not

I still remember how everything seemed so perfect when I was with you

When you were still here

When I could still taste summer's last memories, the promise of fall's crispness, the sweetness of ripe apples

The wonder of the longing of birds in flight searching for a winter home

Of how whole I was

Of how perfect everything was

But you knew that it was not meant to be

You knew that you weren't meant to be in this world for long

Yet you still made me love you

You still made my soul intertwine with yours

And I am left here without a soul, without a purpose

And I wonder how much longer I can hold on

I will continue to look up at the night sky and think that maybe

Just maybe you were looking down at me as well

That somehow there are still traces of you in this world

There are still traces of you still with me

And then I will wake up to a cold bed

An empty room

And realise that yes, I am still alone

And maybe that is what is right in this world

That my loneliness is what is demanded of me

A fate that could possible rival that of death

Is what has awaited me this whole time

The fate to go on in this world knowing that you will never be whole once again

That you will forever remain broken