From the Love you don't love anymore.

Dear Love,

I just saw you on Facebook. I rarely ever browse your profile but today was one of those days I couldn't fight the urge to see you. I saw your funny comments on some pictures and giggled to them. Do I need to tell you how much I miss being a part of your life? Do I need to tell you how much I miss laughing at your jokes and seeing you smile as you looked at me admiringly. I feel jealous of the ones who I remember were a part of your life 4 years ago and can still be seen sharing a similar or better relationship  with you today. I feel left out. 

I wonder if the ones I fought with have sat with you and laughed at me for all the times I told them to back off as you shared how temperamental your girlfriend was.They must have inquired about our relationship which you must have escaped answering.

All said, I write to you to tell you that I learned something today. I learnt I have been selfish to have not loved you when you did not want me in your life. I was upset and I fought with you because you no more wanted to know about my day every day. I have been self-centered all those times when I was angry and misbehaved. I was hurt because I was no more that girl.

The changes between us were huge. The only one changing was you and I was being left behind.

I was no more that girl for whose birthday you planned endlessly and managed a beautiful candle lit brunch at home.

I was no more that girl you would come travel with in the metro just to see her each day.

 I was no more that girl to who you wanted to share everything  with in your life and heart.

I was no more that girl you wanted to take care of all your life as you dreamt of making a home with me.

I was no more your Love.

They were all too harsh and important to let go off. The moments. The plans. The promises. Being your love. Your favourite one. Your best friend.

Somehow you managed to leave it all behind and I was left behind alone, with all of them. Living with them each moment.

I learnt it was selfish on my part to be only thinking about what I wanted. I should have focused on what you wanted. What made you happy? I should have let you have it all only because that made you happy but I kept trying to win you back because I was so hung on my own happiness. 

That is not true love. That is conditional. 

And that is not how I love someone.

-The girl with whom you couldn't keep your promises.