I Chose This

I chose to be silent

So that my lips won’t say words that will hurt you

Unlike what yours do.

I chose to be quiet

So that my screams won’t bother you

Because I know you won’t care to listen, too.

I chose to be numb

So that I won’t feel the tip of your knife piercing through my skin

Even if I bleed from it.

I chose to be indifferent

So that no one will mock at my pain and weakness

While you taunt at my fears.

I chose to be miserable

Because what else can I do

When that’s what you have always wanted me to be?

I chose to succumb

Because I can’t climb back any further

While you keep burying me under.

I chose to be lost

So that someday I’ll be able to find myself

Even if you keep erasing the trails.

Still, maybe I did not choose this.

But how can I escape

When you have already chosen it for me?