It was a "Maybe"...

You know each other for a while now. It's definitely been over 5 years. It's a constant question for you: "Do I like him?" But you're friends, right? The both of you are really good friends who ocassionaly flirt and may have made out a few times. But he's been your friend so all that surely didn't mean anything. And he's seen you in your panda onesie and he's laughed at your failed attempt at flirting with "hot Brad". He's also bought you chocolate ice-cream after your break up. He's watched you fan girl about Ryan Gosling while watching "Crazy, Stupid Love". He's washed his clothes which you vomitted on at the bar and he's got the eggs and rotten tomatoes to throw at your ex's car. But all friends do that. Right?

Do all friends do that? If they don't, then what is this? But he didn't wait around for you, did he?

You were there for him as well. You know his deepest secrets. You know what he likes and most importantly, what he hates. You head bang to his favourite songs and have remembered the dialogues to "Avengers" because you've watched it with him so many times! But as a friend, you should be happy that he likes Petra. Petra is so pretty and even if they've only just met, she makes him happy. But you're still thinking, "I can make him happier!" And you've met Petra as his best friend and you hate her. She's very sweet but you still hate her. It's hard to understand why because...he's just a friend. Right? You're not jealous of Petra, but he deserves better. You don't know if that "better" is you or not but it isn't Petra. 

But there isn't any chemistry between the two of you like there is between him and Petra. You're his beer buddy and they drink Bordeaux. You're the football match company and they go out to the most expensive restaurant in town for dinner. You're the one who makes him laugh when he's sad and she's the one who comforts him. You come over to his house in trackpants for movie night and she comes in her highest heels and the smallest cocktail dress. 

So he isn't "the one". And you realise all of this in that one moment. In that moment, you lose the chance of a possibility. But maybe there was no possibility. Because, you're just friends and the flirting was a joke. You're just friends and the late night talks were just casual. You're just friends and the jealousy was childish. You're just friends and that's all it'll ever be. Because there wasn't a possibility. You were stupid to think that there was something there. It was all just a simple, "Maybe"...

And in that moment, where you were filled with pain, you resisted the urge to cry but instead smiled because you were friends and you were supposed to be happy for him. You were looking for the smallest fibre of happiness in you but couldn't find it. And if it was a "Maybe" then you'd think the ring was beautiful and Petra was a really lucky girl in that moment...