The Great Destroyer

You were my inspiration. You were the sun to all of the shadows that kept haunting me. You were the iron that I could hold on to when I felt like I might fall. In short, you were my everything. My happiness.

The day came that I never thought would come. I started to question everything. Were you really my happiness? Slowly by slowly, I started to realize that you were just a test and I felt like I failed the test. I hated myself for that. I envied others. Then, the anxiety that I thought you healed came alive again and this time, it was more intense. I did not know what to do. I started to think that ending my miserable life would be great. I thought of just reaching the top of the building, close my eye, and just jump to the empty space until I hit the ground. That would be easy, but I just couldn't because I knew that I love you. I love you that it hurts. I love you that it breaks me.

You could have just waited for that and everything would be perfect, but damn. Nothing's perfect. You made me feel disappointed. I felt like you played with my feelings, but above all, I was really the one who has done something wrong and I could not forgive myself. I hated myself for just letting it all happen without having a second thought. Everything was perfect, but it is ruined now. You think I could be happy? Yes, I could. But, it would never be that easy.

You seemed to destroy everything. You destroyed who I am. You destroyed what I always wanted. You destroyed my essence as a woman. And now, I am confused. I am confused to the point that I am about to go crazy. I wanted to just give up, but I couldn't because I love you even if you seemed to destroy what I have been working hard for ever since.