THE NERDY GIRL

The nerdy girl,

Always known for the virtues of doing things right

The kind of girl adored by her teachers

And the perfect name for a perfect example

Naturally people thought her life was perfect too.

But deep inside her she craved for something else

A bubble of wishes entrapping hurricane appeared crystal clear from outside

Rather than being known as nerdy one,

The punctual one or the sincere one

All she wanted was someone

To know her as the crazy one

To see her warm loving side

And someone who would laugh with her from the bottom of lungs,

And bring a smile on her face, matching to the horizon of the sky.

She would wonder about the perfect guy

Ready to embrace her mess of those galloping emotions inside her

Which she never reflected on her pacified structured face.

She was a little too shy to let anyone dive into her thoughts

Or rather even skid over the surface of her feelings

She always showed how brave and strong she is

But only her scared soul knew....

The shield she was holding to protect the insecurities and love she embodied

Hoping that the “perfect” would see through her walls

And won’t be scared off easy looking at her wounds

And yes she was pretty

So she had some flies buzzing around her all the time

Who would have loved to have her as their reward

Showing to the world that they managed to crack up the little ideal girl

Just by their little charming efforts

But she wasn’t so easy, nor was she an attention seeker,

And nor was she willing to open up to someone so easily.

All she craved for was a deep and meaningful relation

Someone compatible enough to withstand the waves and depth of her emotions.

Just one of the some days no different from the other days

She met a guy no different from the others around her,

But time, every second different from the other

Bought them together in a bond of friendship

Slowly very slowly she knew she had found someone irreplaceable

Who would stick by her

And stand up for her

She felt secured for the first time….

But sometimes things don’t work out the way you thought they would

And just one of the some days no different from the rest of the days

But that day, made all the difference in her life

He claimed he was in love with her

She who protected her bubble for so long to be not pricked by anyone

Thought for the first time to give it up,

After all he was but her irreplaceable.

So she blindfolded herself with all the trust she had

She took a leap to fall in love with him

Little did she knew there was only hurt to catch her….

While she kept falling, she was in love with him

But she didn’t knew that people say all the words in world they don’t mean

Words spoken could be very much a lie

But she realised this too little too late

He broke her from inside –out completely into a million pieces

Turns out he was just weaving a web of lies

The words he uttered to her without any hesitation

Were the same for so many other girls he thought he could charm

But what he didn’t understand was that she wasn’t like the girls he managed to flatter…..

She had no shoulder to lean on, and cry, and tell her story

He didn’t understand the damage he caused,

With her walls down she was left vulnerable to the world,

The world which misunderstood her every action

She was happy for the first time,

With one stroke everything was ruined for her

Without anyone, all alone

She had to pick up her own pieces

Sobbing over whatever was left of her.

Ironically even for the sake friendship they had,

He did not even bother to answer her question

Even though she kept asking him over and over again

“Why did you do something like that…?”

All she got was silence condemning further her state of loneliness.

Slowly very slowly, she built up her walls again

Though cracks still penetrating and visible

With even more scars on her soul to hide

She knew she couldn’t let her guard down ever again

She found every irreplaceable was a replaceable after all

Now her ocean of thoughts were darker and deeper than before

Holding all the pain and unanswered questions

She didn’t let anyone see her heartache

Still portraying herself strong.

The world didn’t even try to understand her

Because to them she was the same nerdy girl,

Who did her homework on time and teacher’s ideal student

How can she be thinking of any other problem than maths

Deep inside only her heart knew the truth….

-BY- AARUSHI VERMA