To the love that lasted 20 hours

Today was disappointing. I feel dejected. Once again, he wasn't the one. He needs to be with the woman he loves and has been hurting over. I just hope he finds peace and love. He deserves it. Seemed like a great guy and the way we had been speaking for the last 20 hours, I almost fell in love. Like he himself said, 'I think I fail because I expect things to line up too soon'.

It happened.

Maybe he didn't find me the way he expected me to be. But this was just one side of me, there is always a flipside. I wanted to kiss him more, hold his hand but I had to see him withdrawing himself and, the questions he asked me, which ofcourse I escaped answering, left me disturbed.

Not because I don't have the answers figured for most of them but because I felt underestimated because I do not think it is possible to have everything figured out at anytime in life. I have made peace with the chaos within me and I just sought some more patience, a little willingness to let me have some time before I open up and express my thoughts. Even share my vulnerabilities and my body. He was nothing like he was over the text messages we shared. He had hidden himself under a shell before I reached and I couldn't knock the wall down. As I had my own, standing strong.

I just thought I found him. My match. I just felt I had more time with him. I just wanted to love him more but the distance between us made me feel unwanted. And I had a heart break.

Yet again..

HE had already left before he met me.