Uncontrollable

I wake up and in an instant I feel it. Throughout my being. I can feel the urge, the desire, and the thirst that is hard to quench. It looms over me, mocking me, and taunting me. As it knows my will is paper thin. It knows that at any moment I can give in and break.

I lay awake frustrated with my emotions and my logic. My heart says No but my mind (body) says Yes. I fight the struggle as to which will win today. My True Heart? Or My Corrupted Mind?

"I can't... ", " I shouldn't... ", "Maybe? ".

These thoughts race around in my mind trying to fool the weak heart into thinking that it should give in and let go.

Sometimes My Heart wins and sometimes My Mind wins...

And that is a tragedy...