Unreal

     I thought you were nice when I first met you. I thought we could be friends and spend time together. I thought you were different. I thought wrong.
     All your inside jokes you think I don't see, I see them clearly. I know that whenever your laughing, its always about me. Now I'm really seeing you, for what you really are. And I feel sorry for you, that you take amusement in my shortcomings. If that's the case,lets disassociate ourselves. Lets pretend we don't know each other. Maybe its for the best.
         You've been wearing a mask, but it's concealed nothing. You, and your friends are one of the reasons I'm making this decision. I won't be embarrassed anymore.
       And I will admit, your company is great to have. You make everything lively and full. Your enthusiasm, humour, snide remarks when your merely joking, these are the things I like. They are also a means to pacify me, and make me look the other way.
        I wish things were different. I wish you weren't so charming. I wish you weren't so deceitful. But most of all, I wish I didn't care. Then I could walk past you in the hallway and pretend I don't know you. But I know I'd just be tempted to say something, and in a month from now you'll ask me a question, and I'll answer you, because I foolishly missed being your friend.
          I don't deserve this. I have worth, value, substance; you don't see it. You see someone that waits in silence for someone to figure things out for her. That's never who I've been, so you'll never really know me. For the mean time, I'll keep talking to you out of circumstance, but I really hope there comes a day when we can stop knowing each other.

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I can't wait.