Why We Write

I don't know where to begin or even how to. For the longest time, I have wondered how do other writers bring forth such rawness in their craft. That emotionally tainted piece that makes you feel as if someone has written your soul on that canvas, etched in those swirls of black, words that maybe were in your own heart too, but you never could pen it down.

I just realized that maybe it's because they tapped into the real emotions they felt. They didn't feel the need to alter them into purple prose so as to appeal to the general public. They wrote for themselves. They wrote because it brought them peace. They wrote simply because they wanted to write and not because they hoped that someone would read it. 

I have long since forgotten that feeling of writing because I loved it. Caged in the clutches of endless rejections; chained down in insecurities because there is something about it, when people tell you, "You are not good enough", for a very long time, you slowly start to believe them, reluctantly.

I would spend hours shuffling mindlessly through the thesaurus looking for a better word, a more prettier, more difficult, more complex looking syllable to replace a simpler word, disguising it under the impression of "Editing"; confusing vocabulary with expression, forgetting that it's often the most simplest of things that hold the most beauty because that which touches the heart lies in lucidity.

I have promised myself to return back into my heart, to find within the "why" of my writing. To let go of the prejudice that your vocabulary determines your creativity and expression. To write because I want to, not because I have to. 

So that's the journey I have chosen, to re-discover  my soul. Because where your soul lies, that's where your work shines. This time, it will be for my passion, not a mere distraction.

For the first time, I don't care if my writings will be lost among the countless other pieces, more creative, more heart-rending than mine. I just want to be honest with myself. And while, I will not sit anticipating a new reader, checking my phone constantly, but I will always be grateful to those who have given my piece a chance. I am not any different, and I don't promise to give some out- of- this- world craft. I just have my heart on this page, and if you want to take a dive, please be my guest.